Before I Go
by cyanide dragon
Summary: RenjiRukia, Renji POV. Ichigo's coming and Renji's going to go deal with him. But of course, he must deal with something else first.


Yes, yes…Bleach doesn't belong to me..duh…but I wish those gorgeous bishies did…

Before I Go...

There she is in that cell, the stupid cell she's forced to stay in, wait in until she's executed. And here I am, in front of it, talking to her and pissing her off like I'm just visiting a friend who just so happens to live a jail cell.

Geez, this is great. Really friggin great.

Why do I visit her everyday, anyway? I don't do anything to help, to make it more bearable. I come over, shout and yell about how she's gonna die and then go. Everyday. I feel incredibly stupid.

Yet she doesn't mind.

Why?

It's like she knows something. Like somethings going to happen and she'll be okay. But I don't know what it is. Hell, I'm not a psychic. I'm not, what do they call it, in tune with others. Screw that emotional crap. The only time I get really emotional, aka pissed or angry, is when I'm in a fight or talking with Rukia.

But I can't dwell on pathetic thoughts anymore. Information just came in that Ichigo Kurosaki is approaching my area. And I have something to settle with him. And this has nothing to do with Rukia.

Okay, it kinda does. Shit, I just admitted that. Whatever. Before I go, I'm going to visit Rukia. I want to tell her something. There she was, in her cell, as usual. She heard my footsteps, I guess, because she turned her head, smiled sweetly (it was almost gross), and said, "Well, if it isn't the greatest freak on earth, the Tattooed-Eyebrow Fiend."

I hate and like it(no idea why) when she says things like that. So I shout, "Shut up! You're gonna frikkin die for that!" Why did I just say that?

"I might, very soon." she says simply.

I hate it when she talks like that. She once told me she had faith in that Kurosaki. Yeah? If she really did, she wouldn't talk like that, she'd be hopeful. But that's not really her, and it would really freak me out if she was hopeful.

It's hard for me to tell her this. How am I going to say this?  
"Rukia." I can barely get it out.  
"Hm?" Her eyes are focused on me. Shit shit shit.  
"I....I heard Kurosaki Ichigo's approaching the city. I'm going to go get him...you'll never be freed." This was the best I could come up with? I should've just told her that I'm gonna go kick his ass and then-

But she's just shaking her head, a real smile on her face. "Renji," she whispers(it gives me such a trip. She has such a beautiful voice.)"you're not going to win. But go on. Just come back in one piece."

I can't believe she just said that. She said I'm going to lose. I erupt.

"Oh, you think I, a vice-captain, am NOT going to kick some upstart rookie's ass? You think he's so great? What's so great? Tell me, Rukia." My voice is rising like angry waves. "How is he so much greater than me? Is he stronger? Faster? Smarter? Does he love you more? Rukia, he's nothing, NOTHING. Because I AM stronger, I AM faster, smarter, and I love you more, I love you so much more..." I died down automatically the moment I realized I just started declaring full-blown, one-sided, 100 definitely rejected love. I am a grade A shit-brain. Great. I pound my fist into one of the metal bars, and I slid down dejectedly to sit on the cold ground. I want to die. Really, I do.

"Renji..." Rukia says quietly. I think she's going to reject me now. Well, that was expected. Fire away, go on.

"Renji, I do like him, but you'll lose not because you're not strong enough. It's because you want me free too." She pauses. I think she wants me to register something.

Wait, do I want her free? DO I? I don't want her dead, that's for sure. I don't want to lead a life without her, even though she might not be mine to claim. But I guess it's true. I want her to be...free...I want her to...escape.

She steps toward to bars I'm slumping over, and she touches my face with her right hand that she passes through the bars. This is unexpected. Her hand is really cold.

"Renji," she whispers (did I mention how I love her voice?),"even though I believe in Ichigo, I love you best. Don't ever forget that."

Did she just say that she...loved me? Dammit, I think my brain is REALLY made of shit. She didn't just say that, no way. No, she did. She loves me best.

She does.

"I'll be back" I say quickly, getting up as fast as I can. I have to go. To get Kurosaki. And also because I don't know what to say.

Before I walk out, I whisper just loud enough for her and for me to here, "Your love will bring me back."

And even though I'm a brainless ass, I know she smiled at me.

End

Wow, I actually like this. Read and review..because I'm new and need pity


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